


redamancy

by starrystars



Series: of officer meng and gang boss tangyi [1]
Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trap
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, my feels are all over the place, tangfei made me feel a lot of things, this is purely fiction, this is what trapped did to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-03-07 22:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18882676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrystars/pseuds/starrystars
Summary: in which gang boss tangyi will always managed to render officer meng shaofei breathless with just his mere existence in his life but eventually, both of them are tangled together in a strand of faith called love.





	1. with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he is opening his eyes in one, two, three, his blurry vision is now filled with the serene view of Shaofei sleeping so soundly next to him.
> 
> And to say the least, Shaofei is… glowing.

The warm rays of sun is peeking through the transparent blinds of their shared room. Soft hues of orange and yellow shines elegantly against the crystal windowpane. The sky is blue and the clouds are fluffy white; the earth is already woken from its sleep.

 

The warmness of morning sun awakens Tangyi from his deep sleep. As he is opening his eyes in __one, two, three__ , his previously blurried vision is now filled with the serene view of Shaofei sleeping so soundly next to him.

 

And to say the least, Shaofei is… __glowing__.

 

His thick eyebrows, his pointed nose, his luscious pink lips; Tangyi traces it all with the tip of his finger, drawing invisible dots that make up a picture of a beautiful Shaofei beside him, his chest heaving up and down in utter calmness.

 

Something in his chest is constricting with a very familiar feeling, his gut is twisting and turning, an effect only Shaofei can give to him. Only Shaofei can make his heart pound so loudly against his chest, his rib cage almost crumbling into ashes. Only Shaofei can make him smile this wide, the flowers are now blooming so beautifully in his heart.

 

Unbeknownst to Tangyi, his fingers are already heading its way toward Shaofei’s face, targeting those plump pilgrims. Tangyi wants to touch it, to feel it with his fingers. It’s soft, it’s pliant when those lips are moving against his own, his name came out like a symphony from Shaofei’s lips whenever they made love.

 

As his eyes are wondering all over his lover’s face, he caught a glimpse of Shaofei’s wound on his right arm.

 

It has been a while since Shaofei got that wound but it’s still there, the stitches are still neatly sown on his delicate skin.

 

Tangyi’s heart stops beating.

 

Going down, his eyes caught an image of Shaofei’s gunshot wound on his abdomen, very near to his bellybutton.

 

There. There it is.

 

Tangyi’s heart immediately falls to the ground.

 

Everything hits him all at once; Shaofei’s scars are all from him protecting Tangyi and his people. Without him noticing, all of those wounds was caused by Tangyi and Tangyi alone. Shaofei took all of it with a smile on his face and a sincere __it’s my job to protect the citizens__.

 

“Tangyi… you are awake?”

 

Shaofei’s coarse voice awakens Tangyi from his train of thoughts, his eyes shining with unshed tears that are almost bound to fall if only Shaofei is still asleep.

 

He tries to chase away the feeling in his heart with a small smile and a nod.

 

Shaofei is smiling at him, so astoundingly beautiful that Tangyi can’t help but to let all of his feelings, his vulnerability, his uncertainty away from his heart.

 

Upon seeing this, Shaofei is quick to wipe his tears away. His facial expression turns sour, he sits up and engulfs Tangyi in his embrace.

 

“Hey, why are you crying?” Shaofei asked.

 

__You._ _

__

__It’s because of you__.

 

“Nothing,” Tangyi replied.

 

Shaofei breaks their hug and examines Tangyi’s face. Tangyi can only look at his lover with so much gratitude because no one has ever done anything that Shaofei did to him; Shaofei was willing to risk his own life just to save Tangyi and does he even deserve to be loved by Shaofei?

 

“Ah Fei,” Tangyi called, and Shaofei closes the distance between them, his legs are cradling Tangyi’s stiff body.

 

His lips are moving to Shaofei’s right arm and kisses the wound, so softly and so gently, earning a surprised gasp from Shaofei.

 

Then, Tangyi kisses the gunshot scar on his abdomen, long enough until he could remember how pale Shaofei looked like that day, lying almost lifelessly on the hospital bed.

 

Shaofei holds his face with his hands, and Tangyi leans into the touch. “It’s okay, Ah Yi.” Shaofei whispered. “It’s okay.” Shaofei repeated his words, just to assure that everything that is running wildly in Tangyi’s mind, it’s all in the past.

 

They are the new Tangyi and Shaofei now.

 

Officer Meng Shaofei and CEO Tangyi.

 

Tangyi is shaking his head in denial, but Shaofei can only give him a small smile. “It’s all in the past, Ah Yi. Let’s not think about it.” He said against Tangyi’s lips.

 

The morning sun is illuminating Tangyi’s whole figure extravagantly, his fluffy bed hair is all over the place, Shaofei smooths it all with the help of his lithe fingers running through those silky strands, massaging Tangyi’s scalp along the way.

 

“I’m sorry, Ah Fei.” Tangyi blurted out, just above a whisper.

 

Shaofei embraces Tangyi again, burying his lover’s head on his chest. “You are not at wrong Ah Yi.”

 

Tangyi has always been the stone-cold gangster with no expression on his face, his words are sharp and piercing, it often slices Shaofei’s heart but after knowing him better, Tangyi is just a normal human being that yearns for love and attention.

 

And Shaofei swears that he’ll love Tangyi until the very end.

 

“I love you, Ah Fei.” Tangyi said against his naked chest, words moist and heavy with a feeling that is so deep and so incredibly intense, it is seeping right into Shaofei’s bones.

 

Tangyi kisses his chest, up to the sides of his neck and landed on his lips, long and passionate.

 

Shaofei kisses him back, his heart is beating almost too loudly against his eardrums. The warmth that Tangyi exudes makes him feel all gooey and mushy inside, no words can even describe how his heart and his insides are behaving at the moment.

 

But the only thing he knows is, “I love you too, Ah Yi.”


	2. you have me (and i have you too)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes  
> I fall into your arms  
> I’ll be safe in your sound till I come back around."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cross-posted [here.](https://bright-flowering.tumblr.com/post/184882242782/you-have-me-and-i-have-you-too)
> 
> this was my take on the hospital scene in episode 11.
> 
> inspired by the song; someone you loved - lewis capaldi

Tangyi has lost count on how many times he ended up being on the same spot every single night, feeling everything and nothing at the same time.

Often, Zhaozi is already fast asleep, which makes it easier for Tangyi to sneak into Shaofei’s room quietly every night. Whenever he is in Shaofei’s room, his heart, his chest, his whole being is literally on fire. Tears are threatening to fall from his eyes, but being the stone-cold Tangyi he is, those tears will never fall. Not again. He had let his guard down once for Shaofei, he will not ought to do it again.

But seeing Shaofei lying so peacefully on the hospital bed, IV dripping melodiously, drop by drop, creating a rhythm that Tangyi has already accustomed to, the light on his face is replaced with such paleness, those lips that often smile at him is now chapped, dry and so… painfully beautiful.

This sight of Meng Shaofei, hurts him more than anything he could ever think of. No wounds or gunshot scars on his body will ever be able to top this pain as the torment in his heart is excruciating.

Sometimes Tangyi does wonder; what is on your mind, Meng Shaofei? Because the officer is so unpredictable, so full of surprises, full of liveliness and Tangyi loves everything about it.

He… loves it.

Tangyi is in denial for as long as he can remember, but the moment he knew Shaofei was hospitalized, trying to protect Hong Ye and was shot in the abdomen, something hits him hard, right in his chest.

Those confusing feelings in his heart, maybe it’s adoration. Maybe it’s admiration, maybe it’s more than Tangyi can ever describe with his limited field of words.

But one thing he knows for sure, Shaofei is the sole reason behind all of it.

 

+

 

Shaofei opened his eyes and was welcomed by the orange hues of the bedside lamp of his room. He tried to blink the sting away from his eyes as he is slowly regaining his vision.

He sees Zhao Zi sleeping so soundly on the sofa and his heart soften at the sight. They are the best of friends after all. He is touched because Zhao Zi will always be there for him, will always be there for him through his ups and downs and to witness someone whom he called as family is here with him, it’s really rather, touching, to say the least.

But his throat is dry and coarse, as if someone is rubbing sandpaper along his windpipe. The only thing that he wants right now is a glass of water and he will be able to sleep again.

He calls for Zhao Zi, but after getting a I’m not thirsty as a reply, Shaofei is starting to wonder about his life choices and also, his friend choices as well.

Sighing almost too heavily, with every strength that he can muster, Shaofei tries to pour himself a glass of water from the jug beside his right when a rough but familiar hand is on top of him, stopping Shaofei from his initial act.

Those hands then guided Shaofei’s own to rest on his bed, and when Shaofei looks up, he sees Tangyi.

Tangyi.

Something in his chest is blooming, but he is awestruck with the presence of Tangyi in his room he can’t even blink. Is this real? Am I still dreaming? Maybe I’m still high in drugs I guess-

The said Tangyi is pouring him a glass of water and he is now seated on the leather chair beside Shaofei’s bed. There are so many questions running in his head, and one of it is are you the real Tangyi? But Shaofei decided to remain silent and his eyes are following every delicate movement Tangyi is executing.

Tangyi is moving in such grace. He took a cotton swab and dabs it with water, moistening it just enough and softly pats Shaofei’s dry lips.

‘’Why are you here?’’ Shaofei asked, his voice is hoarse and his eyes are sparkling, hoping and expecting for Tangyi to reply him with the reply that he had in mind.

‘’I came here because I wanted to.’’ The boss leader replied, his face still remain stoic but there’s utter softness that is layering his usual cold expression.

And there it is. The butterflies, the fireworks, the confetti is bursting ever so beautifully in Shaofei’s eyes. It makes him happy, really it does.

Shaofei knows that Tangyi is feeling nothing but guilt at the moment, but he also knows that Tangyi does care for him. Maybe his feelings are not one-sided after all, maybe the boss leader’s feelings toward him is as strong as his feelings for Tangyi.

Tangyi is still dabbing the moist cotton swab on his lips, and a drop manage to trickle down to his chin but Tangyi is quick to wipe it with his thumb. When Tangyi’s thumb touches the skin on his chin, Shaofei’s heart is on fire. He can’t even blink, the only thing he wants right now is for Tangyi to be closer to him.

He holds Tangyi’s hand, curling his lithe fingers weakly around Tangyi’s own, trying to pull him closer.

He could see the boss leader’s emotions with his own eyes. Tangyi’s hesitance, his resistance, his guilt, his confusion, his concern; his emotions are so raw and so honest. Shaofei is struggling to pull him closer and slowly Tangyi is getting the picture. He is now only a few inches away from Shaofei.

Shaofei wants to assure Tangyi that he is okay.

This is not his fault.

Tangyi, this is not your fault.

‘’Hey, let me tell you something.’’ Shaofei whispered, and Tangyi is tentatively looking at him.

‘’Someone once told my fortune, and my life is blessed and is strong, only a cannon can get rid of me.’’

With that, Tangyi snorted.

And Shaofei can’t help but to chuckle lightly.

The air around them is now light and airy, Shaofei wants to get up and start dancing with Tangyi in his arms because the latter is now smiling. He is smiling ever so softly, their eyes are still on each other, as if they are almost drowning in their profound emotions.

To see Tangyi smile, to see the boss leader smile so honestly makes his heart churn in delight. This sight is beautiful, Tangyi is so exceptionally beautiful when he smiles.

‘’You look better when you smile.’’ Shaofei said and Tangyi is still looking at him with every ounce of emotion he can gather.

Shaofei is not certain of their future, but he is certain of his feelings for Tangyi.

Shaofei knows that he will always have Tangyi’s back.

And he hopes that Tangyi has his back too.


	3. i'll remind you everyday (of how beautiful you are)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your eyes don’t show  
> So the silence grows  
> All I need’s a sound  
> Sing it loud  
> So I won’t forget it now you know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cross-posted [here.](https://bright-flowering.tumblr.com/post/184944711012/ill-remind-you-everyday-of-how-beautiful-you)
> 
> inspired by the song; optimistic - lontalius

Sometimes, Shaofei gets insecure of himself.

 

He’s not handsome, he’s not well-built, he’s not attractive and to put it into simpler words, he’s not suitable to be Tangyi’s boyfriend.

 

His boyfriend is so charismatic, so posh, so stylish; all men and women are head over heels for him. Shaofei has witnessed this scene a hundred of times where heads are turned, jaws are dropped at how handsome Tangyi is. His existence just screams perfection, and in all honesty, Shaofei feels so small whenever he is next to Tangyi.

 

Day by day, Shaofei started to feel anxious about his appearance. He is a police officer after all, he is so used of wearing something that is cozy and comfy, that can protect him in any situation. Only at times when he is going undercover, he will wear the suit Tangyi bought especially for him. That’s it. Being Shaofei, he doesn’t care about people’s thoughts on him. But whenever they went to a party, people will often question Tangyi about their relationship, laughing at Tangyi for having Shaofei as his boyfriend.

 

Although he doesn’t say it out loud, but it hurts, a bit. Meng Shaofei, stop lying to yourself, he whispered, it hurts so bad, isn’t it?

 

Yes.

 

It hurts a lot.

 

Without Shaofei realizing, Tangyi is already seated next to him on their bed, all cozy with his blue robe wrapped around his muscular body.

 

“Shaofei, what are you thinking?” Tangyi’s deep voice awakened Shaofei from his thoughts.

 

Shaofei blinks the sadness away from his eyes, giving Tangyi a small smile. “Nothing.”

 

If there’s one thing Shaofei is bad at is his lover is terrible at lying. Meng Shaofei is a bad liar, maybe it’s because he is an officer, he is ought to tell only the truth. Therefore, whenever Shaofei tried to lie, Tangyi can quickly sense it. It has already become his nature. When Shaofei is upset, when Shaofei is happy and when Shaofei is frustrated, Tangyi knows it all.

 

Softly, Tangyi places his hand on Shaofei’s cheek, and his lover just lean into his delicate touch.

 

“Don’t lie to me, Meng Shaofei.” Tangyi gently said. His lover’s eyes are fluttering upon his name being called by Tangyi. He secretly enjoys the effect he has on Shaofei sometimes.

 

Shaofei’s eyes are moist again, the vulnerability he is feeling all this while is starting to resurface.

 

“Tangyi,” Shaofei called, pausing for a while just to look at his lover. “Are you embarrassed of me?”

 

Tangyi is caught off guard. His thick eyebrows are furrowed together in confusion. “Why would I be embarrassed?”

 

“For having me as a boyfriend.”

 

Now, everything is starting to make sense. No wonder Shaofei is trying to distance himself from Tangyi these days. His lover is having doubts and is fighting with it all alone.

 

His heart is cracking, bits and pieces are crumbling to the ground. Nothing hurts Tangyi more than to see the person he cherish the most is hurting.

 

“Why would you say that?”

 

Tangyi needs to do something, just to ensure Shaofei that he is a one lucky man to have Shaofei by his side. Who would take a bullet just to save a person’s life? Not everyone can do it, but Shaofei did. Because Tangyi knows, even if it’s not him, Shaofei will still take the bullet for anyone.

 

Who would’ve dared to sacrifice their lives just to save others?

 

Meng Shaofei.

 

Officer Meng Shaofei will.

 

His eyes soften as he sees those tears are falling. He has seen Shaofei cried once or twice, but this time it’s about Tangyi, is about them, so Tangyi knows he needs to fix this.

 

“I’m optimistic and I’m ambitious.” Shaofei said.

 

“Yes, yes you are Ah Fei-”

 

“But I’m not pretty, I’m not realistic.” Shaofei blurted everything, not giving a chance for Tangyi to speak.

 

The only thing that Tangyi wanted to do right now is to kiss the daylights out of Shaofei.

 

But instead, he embraces Shaofei tightly in his arms.

 

“If you have those thoughts in your mind, then you are so stupid.” He simply said. Shaofei hits his chest hard enough to make him cough. But it’s not a lie, what Tangyi said is only the truth.

 

“Meng Shaofei, you are the stupidest person I’ve ever met.” Tangyi said as he breaks their hug. He is looking straight into Shaofei’s eyes, trying to convey his utmost emotions only for his lover to witness, only for his lover to feel.

 

“Tangyi, I’m being serious right now!”

 

“And I’m serious too!”

 

Shaofei is pouting and it is one of Tangyi’s biggest weaknesses. Shaofei is just too adorable when he pouted, those plump lips puckered so cutely and is ready to be kissed anytime, anywhere by no other than Tangyi.

 

“Fei, whatever is in your mind, put a stop to it.” Tangyi gently assured Shaofei, holding his hands and placing it on his chest.

 

“Everything about you… I like it.” Tangyi stopped as Shaofei’s eyes are glimmering when their eyes met. “I like it a lot.” He whispered those words with such raw honesty, hoping that Shaofei can see and feel it.

 

“It’s not about other people, it’s about you, it’s about me, it’s about us.”

 

Tangyi closes the distance between them and plants a soft kiss on Shaofei’s forehead.

 

“Only us matters.”

 

Shaofei is looking at him, his beautiful doe-eyes are shining so brightly, almost blinding Tangyi. His breath hitched, the gentleness of Shaofei’s gaze on him is sending jolts of electricity to electrocute his whole being.

 

He feels so alive when Shaofei is smiling so dazzlingly at him.

 

“You are right. I’m so handsome that’s why I always have you whenever I need you.” The confident, ambitious and optimistic Shaofei is back. Tangyi is glad that Shaofei knows that.

 

“Yes, I’m yours.” Tangyi leans forward, his lips ghosting on Shaofei’s own. “Only yours.”

 

Shaofei is giggling in innocent happiness and Tangyi’s heart is doing endless number of flips. His lovers smile is so brilliantly carved into perfection, so beautiful and so breath-taking, Tangyi is sure he is falling in love all over again.

 

Tangyi doesn’t mind spending his entire life reminding Shaofei how beautiful and amazing he is.

 

Because yes, Meng Shaofei is the epitome of everything amazing, he is.

 

He truly is, and Tangyi hopes that one day Shaofei will realize just how his presence has made Tangyi’s entire world into something near to perfection.


	4. kiss me just like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tangyi wants shaofei to kiss him just like this; lips smothered with cream, his back against the window, their bodies closed together and shaofei’s hands encircled protectively around his waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the birthday scene is so beautiful and so intimate! i can't believe my own eyes when i saw it... it's like i'm intruding their privacy XD
> 
> this is my own take on the legendary birthday scene (that all of us have been waiting for since forever)
> 
> cross-posted [here.](https://bright-flowering.tumblr.com/post/185078286502/kiss-me-just-like-this)

“Boss Tang, another year has passed.”

 

Tangyi uttered those words as he sets the birthday hat, the house he made with clay and the ever so beautiful music box on the table gently as he is reminiscing the happier days he went through when Boss Tang was still with him. He remembered it so vividly, the very first birthday Boss Tang celebrated with him when he was only 13 years old.

 

He thought that he will never have a taste of happiness after his adopted mother died, but when Boss Tang took him under his wings and raised him with so much love and affection, Tangyi is certain he will be happy again.

 

But the tragedy four years ago took his happiness away in a blink of an eye.

 

Today, he can’t help but to remember how Boss Tang’s gaze was filled with care as they blew the candles together. Those moments are the most beautiful for Tangyi and he is forever grateful that God had sent him a father figure whom he never had before Boss Tang came into his life.

 

“Tangyi, happy birthday.” He whispered, eyes glistening with tears that are bound to fall. As much as he tried to contain his sadness with his stoic expression, but as for today, he had failed to do so. __Just this one time__ , Tangyi said, __I’m going to let my guard down just this once__ , he close his eyes for a short moment.

 

Suddenly, the lights in his room went off, the only source of light available is the small table light illuminating the darkness of night. Tangyi turns around, shell-shocked to witness someone coming from the door, gentle light coming from the candles greeted him with a warm welcoming.

 

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Tangyi, happy birthday to you.”

 

 _ _Meng Shaofei__.

 

Tangyi is immediately on his feet, walking towards Shaofei who is holding a cake in his hands. As in queue, the tears are finally falling one by one. His stoic expression shatters by the sight of Shaofei in front of him.

 

“You don’t have to be so touched.” Shaofei teasingly said. “I’ve been chasing you for the past four years, of course I’m aware that today is your birthday.”

 

There’s a small smile tugging Shaofei’s pink lips, and Tangyi’s heart is swollen with so much gratitude but he can only muster a “But I don’t celebrate my birthday,” as a reply to Shaofei.

 

Shaofei’s facial expression changes, from his usual teasing, playful mode to a gentler expression where his eyes are shining and that familiar comforting smile is brightening up his already dazzling face.

 

“I saw you Tangyi. You are hiding all alone in your room, being upset.” He paused. “But you need to be happy! It’s your birthday.”

 

Shaofei will always be able to make him smile. The power Shaofei has on him really scares him at the beginning. But now, Tangyi is slowly accepting it because he likes- he __loves__  this change. He loves it so much.

 

Tangyi’s eyes are following Shaofei’s own as it landed on the beautifully carved music box on the table. “I have the same musical box.” Shaofei said. “Li Zhen jie gave it to me.” He looked up to see Tangyi already has his eyes on him. It never leaves Shaofei, to be very honest. His eyes are always on Shaofei since the police officer started to show up in front of him, four years ago.

 

“That’s the only gift my biological mother left me.” Tangyi answered.

 

For a brief moment, both of them are comfortable in this silence. Their line of vision is directed at the musical box, feeling somewhat a deeper and stronger connection the wooden box has in store for them.

 

The silence ended when Shaofei grabs the birthday hat and smiles at Tangyi. “Okay, wear this hat.” He said in all smiles.

 

“But I wore this when I was little-” Tangyi wanted to protest but Shaofei beats him before he can give his full reasoning.

 

“Wear this for me, please? I want to see you wearing it.”

 

Shaofei helps Tangyi to wear the birthday hat and he is now smiling so wide. It makes Tangyi smile too.

 

The other softly calls for him and their fingers are entwine together in a heartbeat. Shaofei has always been this warm, Tangyi noticed this comforting heat whenever their fingers brushed or when their shoulders bumped with each other.

 

But when Shaofei was lying on the hospital bed, his warmth was substituted with such harsh coldness. From that very day, Tangyi made a vow to himself; he will not let the warmth from Meng Shaofei disappear because of him ever again.

 

The cake is placed on the table, showing two figures facing each other, with an array of brightly-lit candles and a __HAPPY BIRTHDAY__  written in caps and yellow icing.

 

 _ _Beautiful__.

 

It reminds him of the cake Boss Tang gave him, years back.

 

“This is you, and this is me. Now, make a wish.” Shaofei showed their distinctive figurines on the cake with a child-like smile on his face that immediately warms Tangyi’s already thumping heart.

 

Smiling, Tangyi clasped his hands together and closes his eyes. “I wish-”

 

“Eh!” Shaofei interrupted him by holding his already-clasped hands. “Give me a wish.” The other simply said and who is Tangyi to object Meng Shaofei?

 

“Okay.” It came as a reassuring reply.

 

It’s Shaofei’s turn to clasp his hands together and closes his beautiful doe eyes. “I wish that for your every birthday, I will always be by your side.”

 

The honesty in Shaofei’s words, his honey-like voice when he uttered his promises is too much for Tangyi to handle. Tangyi is uncertain whether he deserves to be loved by Meng Shaofei at this point, but the latter will always try to ensure him that he deserves it, he deserves to be loved by Shaofei.

 

“You wanted to be with me for my every birthday?” Tangyi asked, feeling all puzzled and content at the same time.

 

“Why, you don’t want it? You don’t allow it?”

 

“Even if I don’t want to allow it, I already have allowed it.” Tangyi simply replied.

 

The smile on Shaofei’s face is brilliant. The stars can never beat the luminance of Shaofei’s smile in his universe.

 

“Let’s blow the candles.” Shaofei said.

 

As they are blowing the candles, their shoulders touched and the sparks are flying beneath Tangyi’s eyes. He want no other than for this moment to last.

 

“But you know, I don’t want my cake to be too sweet.”

 

“Hey! You still have the audacity to complain? I made this cake by myself! Shouldn’t you be thanking me right now?” Shaofei’s voice has gone an octave higher, almost cracking when the last syllable of his words was spoken.

 

Smiling almost teasingly, Tangyi replies, “ You are welcome.”

 

Shaofei is rolling his eyes and Tangyi’s laughter erupts. “You are so unbelievable.”

 

Shaofei’s cheeks are brushed with a beautiful pink, highlighting his cheekbones even more. He is breathtaking, Tangyi can finally admit it.

 

“You can cut the cake.” Shaofei assured him.

 

“I want to cut your face first.” Tangyi said, jokingly.

 

“God, why are you behaving this way?” The latter asked him before smearing Tangyi’s cheek with cream.

 

“You right here, needs to be sweet. The sweeter, the better!”

 

“You know, eating a lot of sweets can make you sick. You want to fall sick?”

 

“Yes, I want to!” Shaofei eagerly replied.

 

“Why are you so fearless?” Tangyi asked, quirking his eyebrows questioningly.

 

“Because since the first time I met you, I’ve become as fearless as ever.” Shaofei replied, triggering Tangyi more and more until they fall into a frenzy of cream.

 

In a blink, their faces are now painted with cream. It’s all over their cheeks, their nose and their lips.

 

Shaofei smears the cream all over Tangyi’s face, attacking the other until his back is against the window. The delicate material of the curtains are tickling Tangyi’s back, but the burning sensation in his whole system as Shaofei is plastered so closely against his body intensifies.

 

At this moment, they are crossing each others boundaries, no valid spaces between them as their bodies are so closely aligned together, too baptized with the new world they had just entered together.

 

Lips upon lips are rubbing against each other, the cream is now covering half of their faces. Tangyi is having a difficulty to distinguish the sweetness of the cream with the taste of Shaofei’s lips on his.

 

It feels so intimate, Tangyi has never felt anything like this before. Shaofei is leading him in this new journey, rubbing his lips with Tangyi, the cream only acted as a vesicle for their lips to find each other.

 

Shaofei breaks their lip rubbing with a long kiss.

 

They parted with a sound so lewd, Tangyi is grateful they are the only ones in this room. He doesn’t want anyone to witness how astoundingly debouch Shaofei is at the moment; lips smeared with cream, cheeks are crimson red and eyes that are sparkling so earnestly.

 

Meng Shaofei is so… __beauteous__.

 

“Thank you.” Tangyi softly said against Shaofei’s lips. “I’m really touched.”

 

A satisfied smile is plastered on Shaofei’s face, a victorious smile, as if he has won an award.

 

It’s blinding. So blinding. Tangyi needs to squint his eyes to have a better view of the person in front of him.

 

Tenderly, Shaofei closes the distance between them, and their lips found each other once again.

 

This time, Tangyi gives in to everything. Shaofei is leading him into the kiss, his tongue is asking for permission. Once granted, Shaofei’s tongue are roaming every nook and cranny, tasting every line of teeth, rendering Tangyi breathless and speechless.

 

Tongues fighting for dominance, but both of them are simply giving into their own fiery desires. The bubbling feeling, the heat from this moment is too much for them to decipher.

 

Tangyi wants Shaofei to kiss him forever.

 

Tangyi wants Shaofei to kiss him senseless to the extent of him forgetting his own name.

 

Tangyi wants Shaofei to kiss him just like this; lips smothered with cream, his back against the window, their bodies closed together and Shaofei’s hands encircled protectively around his waist.

 

Yes, Tangyi wants Shaofei to kiss him just like how he is doing right now.

 

And he doesn’t want Shaofei to stop, _never_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so badly written guys istg...


	5. if you leave me (my world will stop moving)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s the end for tangyi as he watches his world is burning without shaofei by his side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning(s): mentions of blood, angst, and... character death. i'm so sorry i just need to get this out from my mind.
> 
> heavily inspired by the song; [without you - ursine vulpine feat. annaca](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoiRjAi1miE)
> 
> i'm really sorry for everything... please don't hate me...

_It's an eye for an eye and I don't know if I_

_Want you to fight, want you to fight_

 

Three years has past since the very day Chen Wenhao was arrested for his crimes, and also three years has past since Tangyi decided to leave Xin Tian Meng for good. Everything is perfect in every way; he is now a CEO of his own company along with Jack, Brother Daoyi and Hongye.

 

Finally, he gets to fulfill Boss Tang’s last wish to live a normal life.

 

A normal life with Meng Shaofei.

 

He is more than happy to spend his everyday life with Shaofei; since three years ago, the officer has been decorating his days with a heart full of love and a face painted with sincere smile. It has been such a long time since Tangyi felt this content, it feels as if he is the luckiest human on earth to have Shaofei beside him through his ups and downs.

 

Shaofei is always there. _Always_. There’s not a moment in his life where Shaofei is not by his side, reassuring him that things will all fall into place one day. The officer makes him feel hopeful, he makes him believe there’s nothing in this world that is impossible for him to reach.

 

Living a normal life with Shaofei is the best way of living in Tangyi’s opinion.

 

He is smiling more, he is laughing more and he is more relaxed since Shaofei came into his life.

 

Tangyi’s world is revolving around Shaofei; Shaofei is his Sun, his central universe. If one day, Shaofei has stopped burning, if one day Shaofei has stopped turning his world in its orbit, it will be the death of Tangyi.

 

He can’t imagine a life without Shaofei. It’s too… _terrifying, too horrifying._ He doesn’t want to think about it, not when Shaofei is glowing and sparkling so extravagantly like fireworks and confetti in his once dull life.

 

But being with Shaofei, witnessing how he was injured from time to time whenever he was out on a mission, hurts Tangyi to the core.

 

He was immediately brought back to the time when Shaofei was almost killed by a bullet that had passed through his abdomen. Eight stitches were sown ever so neatly on his skin, a gentle reminder to Tangyi that he had almost lost Shaofei in this cruel battle.

 

He had almost lost the person he loves the most.

 

Tangyi knows that he doesn’t have the right to stop Shaofei from being an officer since it’s his job, his passion, but he can’t bear the thought of losing Shaofei.

 

It’s enough that he had lost Boss Tang, he can’t lose Shaofei to anyone.

 

 _You don’t have to worry about me Tangy_ i _ _,__  Shaofei often whisper those words late at night as they are sharing each others body heat, feeling hot skin upon cold skin, limbs tangled into a beautiful mess. _Only a canon can kill me, remember?_

 

Tangyi remembered everything the officer said to him at the hospital. At some point, he believed in Shaofei, but when things get too complicated, when Shaofei is injured more and more for this past few weeks, his belief is slowly turning into fear.

 

The only option he has everyday is to pray for Shaofei’s safety, chanting the latter’s name like a mantra, wishing upon the starry stars for Shaofei’s asylum.

 

Tangyi can’t lose Meng Shaofei.

 

 _He can’t_.

 

 

***

 

 

_I'm losing my mind_

_Don't leave me behind_

_We need a bit more time_

 

“Shaofei, someone gave you this.” Zhaozi handed him a small khaki-colored box and Shaofei took it without questioning what’s inside.

 

“Thanks Zi,” Shaofei said, smiling at his best friend.

 

As Shaofei opens the box, a bloodied knife was placed neatly among multicolored papers. The blood is still fresh and the smell is so pungent, Shaofei needs to hold back from puking. A white piece of paper is lying underneath the knife. He opens the letter to see a _I’M GOING TO KILL YOU MENG SHAOFEI_ , written in blood.

 

 _IF YOU WANT TANGYI TO BE SAFE LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY_ , another line was written with blood.

 

This is not the first time he has received death threats, but in the past few weeks he has been receiving so many letters, so many bloodied knives. Shaofei isn’t scared of it, he is scared of the consequences it will leads to.

 

They can kill him, but if they touch the person he loves the most, Shaofei is not hesitant to sacrifice his life just to save him.

 

“Ah Fei, don’t tell me it’s a death threat again?” Zhaozi asked, looking all worried and relentless. His best friend has been receiving these letters a lot nowadays and it scares him, truly.

 

“I think it is.”

 

“Did you tell Tangyi about this?”

 

“No.” Shaofei solemnly replied. “I can’t tell him. He’ll be so worried.”

 

“But don’t you think if he found out from someone who’s not you, he’ll be even worried? You told Jack, but you didn’t tell him.” Zhaozi stated the facts. It’s true, he did told Jack about this but he can’t seem to tell Tangyi.

 

He’s afraid to tell Tangyi.

 

“It’s nothing, really. This is just an empty threat.” Shaofei calmly responded, trying to be positive albeit at the back of his head, things are running haywire and all jumbled up in his mind.

 

Zhaozi is looking at Shaofei in disbelief, but Shaofei is smiling at him almost too reassuringly, he can’t help but to fall for it.

 

“Do you think this has to do with Ah De?” Zhaozi suddenly brought Ah De to the picture. Shaofei has almost forgot about Ah De’s presence since he was arrested three years ago for drug trafficking, but his punishment has ended and he was released a month ago.

 

“Why did you say that?”

 

“Because Ah De loves Tangyi, he resented you and even hired people to kill you. Do you think he’ll not do anything when he is now free from prison?”

 

Something in his mind clicked. He started receiving these threats a week after Ah De’s released.

 

_Could it be….?_

 

“Does Tangyi knows Ah De has been released from prison?” Zhaozi asked. His eyebrows are furrowed together because Shaofei’s expression is unreadable, he doesn’t even know what his best friend is thinking at the moment.

 

“No.” Shaofei timidly replied.

 

Zhaozi’s eyes are blown wide in shock. “Ah Fei! Why didn’t you tell him? I’m calling Jack right away-”

 

“Zi,” Shaofei took Zhaozi’s hands, preventing him from reaching his handphone. “Don’t. Don’t tell them.”

 

“Ah Fei!”

 

Shaofei needs some time, he needs the time to think.

 

Because just by having the thoughts of telling Tangyi about everything he’s been through now makes him want to vomit.

 

 

***

 

 

_So won't you..._

_Hold me now_

_Hold me like I never did anything to hurt you_

_Don't let go_

_Give me another minute to lay here in your echo_

 

It’s so quiet in Tangyi’s room.

 

Tangyi is in the shower while Shaofei is lying on the bed, feeling unabated and anxious. How is he supposed to tell Tangyi about the death threats he’s been receiving? He can’t seem to think of any way that is appropriate enough to break the news to the latter.

 

The coldness of night is seeping into his bones in harsh touches, even the gray blanket failed to warm him. Thoughts are jumping and running in all directions, his head is about to explode from the overcapacity of worry and woe.

 

A soft kiss on his right cheek awakens him from his train of thoughts. Tangyi is already lying beside him, the softness of the cotton pyjama Tangyi is wearing caresses his skin in delicate grazes. He feels calm nonetheless because Tangyi has this effect on him, only he is able to make him relax.

 

“Are you okay? You’ve been spacing out a lot these days.” Tangyi said, his voice gentle and eyes full of worry. Something in Shaofei’s chest is starting to constrict, he can’t even look Tangyi in the eye.

 

“Tangyi,” Shaofei called.

 

“I love you.”

 

By the time those words escaped his lips, Tangyi has stopped breathing. His eyes are wide open, his lips parted, his breath was held long enough until his own lungs has deceived him.

 

Those words are beautiful. But Tangyi is afraid. Those words can give such diverse meanings, and one of it is a goodbye.

 

 _A goodbye_.

 

“Shaofei-”

 

“I really love you, Tangyi. I want you to know that.” Shaofei confessed, pulling Tangyi into his embrace.

 

Tangyi can’t seem to fight it. He instantly melted in Shaofei’s arms, burying his face at the crook of his nape, inhaling the sweet scent of Meng Shaofei all the way into his system.

 

On the other side of the world, tears upon tears are pouring down silently from his eyes as if he had received a signal from God that tonight, might be the last night he’ll spend with Tangyi.

 

Shaofei can almost feel it, almost too surreal, that this might be the last time he will ever have Tangyi in his arms.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Shaofei is walking along the alleyway when he feels someone is following him since he existed the station. He had tried to chase the feeling away but he can see a shadow aside from his are following him wherever he goes.

 

As he turns around, a gun is already pointed at his forehead.

 

“Meng Shaofei, finally we meet again.” The voice said. Although he is covered in all black, Shaofei recognize that voice.

 

“Ah De.”

 

 

***

 

 

“Jack!”

 

Zhaozi called as Jack enters the station. Jack is smiling at his lover but when he sees Zhaozi’s eyes are teary, he immediately engulfs Zhaozi in his arms.

 

“Shorty, what happened?” Jack asked, his facial expression are somewhat relaxed but his inner self is panicking as soon as he sees Zhaozi just now at the verge of crying.

 

“Ah Fei, he was kidnapped.”

 

“Are you serious?” Jack asked, breaking their hug. Zhaozi is already crying when he told the news.

 

“Ah Fei went out to have lunch but he didn’t return to the station afterwards. We’ve checked the CCTV and saw him at an alleyway. He was captured by someone, but I strongly believe it’s Ah De…” Zhaozi tried to explain in between his loud sobbing.

 

 _This is bad_ , Jack thought, _this is really bad_.

 

“Shorty, please give me updates whenever you have one. I’m going to tell Lao Ban about this.” Jack said before leaving the station in a jiff.

 

Zhaozi can only nod before Yu Qi holds his hands with hers. Everyone in the station is worried of Shaofei, but being officers, the only thing they can and will do is to investigate and try to solve this puzzle.

 

 

***

 

 

A hurried knock resounded on the door. Before Tangyi has the chance to allow the visitor to enter, Jack has already stormed into his office.

 

“Jack, what’s going on?” Tangyi asked, confused with Jack’s presence in his office.

 

“Lao Ban, Meng Shaofei…”

 

 

***

 

 

_If it's gonna get violent tonight_

_Tell me you're gonna be alright_

_You're gonna be_

 

 

Blood.

 

Everywhere his eyes are falling, he can only see blood, his blood… is everywhere.

 

Shaofei has A hard time opening his eyes but he still tries nonetheless. Ah De beats him up as soon as he was brought into this somewhat familiar warehouse. He did put up a fight with Ah De; his knuckles bled profusely as he punched Ah De’s face with his bare hands. Those punches are for trying to take advantage of Tangyi. Shaofei will never forget that very day when Ah De had drugged Tangyi. Those punches are all for Tangyi, only for Tangyi.

 

But when Ah De took a baton and hit his head, his world had stopped spinning. Hot blood is oozing out from his head and it is making him feel lightheaded.

 

“I should have killed you three years ago, Meng Shaofei.” Ah De said while he is tying him on the chair.

 

As much as Shaofei puts up a fight with Ah De, the other simply got the best of him. He was trained to protect himself, but not in a way of killing others.

 

“I love Tangyi, but why did he chose you, out of everyone?!”

 

He was slapped on the cheeks hard enough to make his head twist. The stinging pain on his cheeks, the taste of iron that lingers on his taste buds are staggering.

 

“If only you didn’t appear in his life, I would still have a chance to make him love me! After all the shits I did for him, why can’t he see that I did it all for him? Only for him!”

 

Ah De is screaming right on his face, anger and sadness are evident, firing his presence right in front of Shaofei.

 

Shaofei has no saying to this because he loves Tangyi, and he too will do anything just to make sure Tangyi is safe.

 

Tangyi has gone through so many hardships in his life. Shaofei just wants to show Tangyi the other side of the world where everything is beautiful and colorful. The world where Shaofei has been living in, he wanted to share it with Tangyi.

 

But he can no longer do that, not when his life is in Ah De’s hands at the moment.

 

His body is covered with deep cuts and bruises, the ones that will take months to heal. There’s only a small amount of energy left in him to fight Ah De. He is resting his fate in the hands of God; if being killed will stop Ah De from pursuing Tangyi, he is willing to be taken.

 

Ah De is pulling the trigger, the gun is heavy against his bloodied forehead. Closing his eyes, he waited for the bullet to pass through his skull and rupture his brain-

 

The door to the warehouse is opened, revealing a figure that Shaofei can’t make up with his already clouded mind.

 

“AH DE!”

 

_Tangyi._

 

“TANGYI, DON’T COME ANY CLOSER!” Shaofei found himself shouting in desperation. _Please, God,_ his heart prayed, _please protect Tangyi_.

 

“PUT THAT FUCKING GUN DOWN, AH DE!” Tangyi shouted, taking a step closer to them but Ah De insisted, the gun had almost left a bruise on his forehead.

 

“YOU CAN’T STOP ME NOW TANGYI. I’M GOING TO KILL YOUR BELOVED SHAOFEI RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!”

 

Before Tangyi managed to stop Ah De, he pulls the trigger off.

 

_Bang!_

 

Shaofei is already on the floor, blood pooling around his whole body, hot and thick and…

 

“MENG SHAOFEI!”

 

 

***

 

 

_I don't want the world to turn without you_

_And I don't want the sun to burn without you_

 

 

He is too late.

 

His whole body was frozen solid the moment Ah De pulled the trigger. Shaofei was shot right in front of him, he died right in front of him.

 

The police came into the scene just a few heartbeats after Shaofei was shot, cuffing Ah De and arresting him for murder.

 

But it’s too late.

 

Zhaozi was bawling, his knees met the ground as Jack held him close, Yu Qi was crying, her hands were trembling, the captain was shell-shocked as Shaofei’s body was lying on the ground, not moving even just an inch.

 

And as for Tangyi… he just want the God to take him away with Shaofei too.

 

What’s the point of being alive if Shaofei had left him.

 

_He didn’t even get to say goodbye…_

_He didn’t even get to say he loves Shaofei…_

 

Tangyi’s scream is deafening even to his own ears. The world he has been living with Shaofei has stopped moving almost instantly.

 

 

*** 

 

 

_I don't want to live a life without you_

_I will watch the world burn without you_

 

   

Maybe this is the consequences he has to face.

 

Maybe this is the effect of pulling Shaofei into his corrupted world.

 

Meng Shaofei is now lying on the deathbed.

 

Shaofei’s hands are icy cold against his unusually warm hands. His lips are blueish in color, the shade of his skin is off-white and his beautiful eyes are no longer to be seen.

 

This is it.

 

This is their goodbye.

 

Tangyi leans in and places a soft kiss on Shaofei’s forehead, where the gunshot wound is still so fresh on his skin. He presses his lips long on the frigid skin, hoping it’s enough to warm Shaofei’s soul.

 

The moment Tangyi pulls away, Shaofei’s body is immediately brought for cremation.

 

It’s the end for Tangyi, as he watches his world is burning without Shaofei by his side.


	6. please don't stop loving me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shaofei has walked away from his life, seemingly forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is actually a prompt sent by the lovely [@Sageg16](https://twitter.com/Sageg16) on twitter! her prompt was- "Can you write something where TY and SF have a big fight and SF decides that maybe they shouldn’t be together because revenge is more important to him than their relationship and TY tries to win him back?"
> 
> i'm sorry if this is not what you had in mind. i'm sorry if i interpreted your prompt wrongly... it has been a while and i really need to polish my writing skills even more ;;
> 
> thank you for sending me the prompt btw! this is especially written for you <3
> 
> (really, i'm so sorry because this is so badly written...)

“Tangyi, I can’t do this anymore.” Shaofei exclaimed, he is now feeling the tiredness washing his whole body in hurried waves.

 

The air around them is thick and dense with so much tension lacing their every words, their every actions. If they can’t put an end to this fight, one of them might go home with a bloodied face.

 

He is tired. Shaofei is just so _freaking_  tired of everything.

 

Tangyi just won’t understand because he doesn’t want to understand. Tangyi chooses to turn a blind eye on everything Shaofei has said to him and treating it with no seriousness and no meaning. Shaofei’s words are honest and almost pleading, almost begging, but Tangyi will never take his words in mind and isn’t it best for them to end everything before it worsens?

 

Shaofei is tired from being the only one who is invested in this relationship. On second thought- can he really say that they are in a relationship? He can’t even remember the moment they had confessed their feelings, or in reality none of them ever did that? So, what is tying them together all this while? Love?

 

He is laughing at the thought. The word _love_ is too vague to be used as a description for their relationship.

 

Maybe Shaofei is the only one who is in love.

 

Heck, he _is_ the only one who is so mindlessly in love with Tangyi but the latter only treated him like a friend, __a half-friend__ , according to the mob boss’s dictionary.

 

 _Wow_ , Shaofei exclaimed internally, _it does hurt a lot_. Shaofei is honestly surprised with the amount of grief he is starting to feel in his body, the disappointment is slowly dissolving into his bloodstream.

 

Tangyi is standing two feet away from him, wearing an expression of pure determination and utter rage. He has never seen that look before because it was never directed at him, but now, as the gang leader is showing his barest emotion in front of Shaofei, maybe he isn’t that special in Tangyi’s life after all.

 

_Why does it hurt so much?_

 

“What did you just say?” Tangyi asked, his voice are strained with acrimony.

 

Tangyi doesn’t like to be challenged because he is very competitive in nature. Judging by the words that slipped from Shaofei’s mouth a while go, the officer is clearly wanting to put a fight with him.

 

“I can’t do this.” Shaofei said, his eyes are on the floor, trying to avoid from looking into Tangyi’s eyes.

 

“What do you mean by that, Officer Meng?” He emphasized the word officer just enough to make Shaofei flinch.

 

“I don’t want to be around you anymore.” Shaofei said. He can hear his own voice is at the verge of cracking as his heart is swelling in deep sadness and remorse.

 

In a blink, Tangyi is already in front of him, clutching his jacket and yanking it off from his body. Shaofei is left with his thin gray t-shirt, feeling vulnerable under Tangyi’s piercing gaze.

 

Shaofei pushes Tangyi as a response, hard enough to make his body collide with the desk near him. Tangyi winced in pain, the anger is twisting the features on his face too wickedly; Shaofei doesn’t know him. He doesn’t know the man in front of him completely.

 

The gang leader is runnning towards him and starts to attack his neck with forceful bites and venomous kisses. As much as Shaofei wanted to enjoy the feeling of wet lips on his skin, this is not how he had imagined- their love making in Shaofei’s fantasy is passionate, romantic and delicate. This is not it.

 

“Tangyi- let- let go of me!” Shaofei struggled to free himself from Tangyi’s beastly actions, but the latter is pressing his body on Shaofei’s, gripping his hips hard enough to leave a bruise on his fair skin tomorrow.

 

Tangyi is desperate, he is afraid of Shaofei’s sudden confession, he is too anxious of the possibilities that can happen if he doesn’t ground Shaofei tonight, caging him in his arms forever.

 

He doesn’t want to give up.

 

He had been waiting for four years to get his revenge, to taste the sweetness of reprisal, to clean Boss Tang’s name and to reform Xing Tian Meng; he will not let Shaofei put a stop to everything he had done, he will not let the officer disturbed the trap he has set up for Chen Wenhao.

 

Sometimes at night, when Shaofei’s breathing is calm and his arms are around Tangyi’s waist, he had considered the thought of stopping his every agenda. Sometimes, when Shaofei is smiling at him, so soft and gentle, Tangyi wanted to live the normal life Boss Tang had mentioned before.

 

But his ego, his pride won’t let him step down.

 

Tangyi is willing to go down in the pits of hell just to make sure Chen Wenhao will pay for his every wrongdoings.

 

Why is it so hard for Shaofei to understand?

 

He bites the supple skin of Shaofei’s now exposed chest, marking the officer with his lips and licking the sweet skin with his tongue. By the time he looks up, tears are silently falling from Shaofei’s eyes.

 

_No._

_No_.

 

“I hate you, Tangyi.” Shaofei brokenly whispered, by now, his whole being has been rendered down into ashes.

 

“Vengeance is more important to you than anything- I understand.” Shaofei moved away from Tangyi while reaching for his t-shirt that lies on the floor.

 

“You can have your revenge, you can do anything you want and I will not stop you.” Shaofei said, pausing, just to look at Tangyi.

 

His eyes are red, those crystal-like tears are falling endlessly, caressing his cheeks in such delicate and beautiful touches.

 

Tangyi is stupid. Even in situations like this, he finds Shaofei to be very astounding.

 

“I will not stop you, Tangyi.” By now, the officer was fully dressed.

 

“You are free now. I will not meddle in your agendas anymore.” As Shaofei reached the door, he turned around for one last time and says, “Goodbye.”

 

The door to his room closes with a soft thud and Tangyi’s whole body has turned limp.

 

Shaofei has walked away from his life, seemingly forever.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Tangyi is having difficulties to breathe.

 

He is having a difficult time to actually live.

 

Six months. Six months since he last saw Meng Shaofei.

 

Tangyi doesn’t even resume his plan on trapping Chen Wenhao. Instead, he made a police report and let them handle the gangster. Tangyi doesn’t want to know what will happen to Chen Wenhao because everything he had done is not worth it.

 

Shaofei hated him.

 

Shaofei left him.

 

And it is enough to make Tangyi despise his entire existence in this world.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

He went to the hospital to visit Daoyi who was injured, but he didn’t expect to see a familiar figure on the emergency hospital bed, surrounded by a number of nurse and doctors looking all frantic and alarm.

 

There’s so much blood, so much…

 

“Doctor, this patient has lost too much blood! His pulse is dropping!” One of the nurses screamed.

 

“We need to operate him now! Hurry! We don’t have much time, hurry!” One of the doctors was trying to clear the path, signaling the people to make way for them to move.

 

Tangyi sees Doctor Jiang in the midst of the crowd and suddenly he is feeling uneasy with the sudden thought he had in mind.

 

“Jiang, who’s on the emergency bed?” Tangyi asked, desperately wanting to know the identity of the patient on the bed, perilously praying that his intrusion is nothing but a lie.

 

“It’s Meng Shaofei.” Doctor Jiang said.

 

If Doctor Jiang didn’t hold his hands, Tangyi might have collapsed right away.

 

“He was shot on the chest and was drugged with Gray Death while investigating. His chances of living is only up to 30% since the drug has infused almost fully into his blood.” The doctor explained. He knows it’s hard for Tangyi, but he will try his best to save the officer- the most important person in Tangyi’s life.

 

His whole asylum is darkening in an instant.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

It’s a miracle.

 

The operation was a success. Albeit they did struggled to save Shaofei, a total of 12 hours in surgery, but the officer is now stable, his pulse is back to normal and the drug has been removed from his body.

 

Tangyi felt the surge of relief as the color on Shaofei’s lips are returning. It makes him believe that Shaofei is still alive and is still breathing beside him.

 

He knows that he isn’t supposed to be here.

 

He knows that the moment Shaofei wakes up, he will hate him.

 

But Tangyi can’t bring his two feet to walk away from this hospital room.

 

Five days since the operation, and when Tangyi is still sitting beside Shaofei, watching him close, the officer’s eyes flutter open.

 

Tangyi calls the doctor and they are quick to check Shaofei thoroughly. He leaves the room for a while, until Doctor Jiang indicates that it’s safe for him to enter.

 

He isn’t supposed to be here in the first place.

 

He isn’t supposed to show his face in front of Shaofei ever again; but this is Meng Shaofei, the only person that really matters to him, is alive and breathing and surviving, Tangyi doesn’t want to let this chance slip away from his fingers. Even if Shaofei will hate him, even if this is the last time he will be able to look at Shaofei, Tangyi swears it’s more than enough.

 

Inhaling a deep breath, Tangyi turns the doorknob and enters the room.

 

In a heartbeat, their eyes met.

 

In a second, tears are falling from Tangyi’s eyes.

 

In a blink, Shaofei is crying too.

 

“Meng Shaofei…” Tangyi called upon the name he had loved so dearly, missing the sweet sensation of Shaofei’s name on his taste buds.

 

He runs to Shaofei’s side and intertwine their fingers together. Shaofei is just so cold- his fingers are almost frozen. Tangyi brings those fingers close to his lips and kisses the tip delicately.

 

“I’m sorry…” Tangyi apologized. He doesn’t know what to say, his field of words are shortened only with phrases of apology and defeat.

 

“I’m so sorry Shaofei.” He said while wailing his feelings out.

 

Shaofei is crying but there’s a soft smile painting his blueish-colored lips. “You are so mean.” He muttered, clear enough for Tangyi to hear.

 

“I’m sorry Shaofei.” Tangyi whispered one more time before looking straight into Shaofei’s beautiful eyes. “All of my life, getting revenge for Boss Tang has always been my top priority but when you came into the picture, I was genuinely afraid because you easily took that spot and I’m not used to that change.”

 

Tangyi stood up from the chair and sits on the small space of Shaofei’s bed, carefully placing their entwine hands on his chest.

 

“I wanted to have my vengeance but you were always there to stop me, to tell me that this is not it- being the fool I am, I didn’t listen. I didn’t realized I broke your heart all along.”

 

Shaofei just intently looking at Tangyi, listening to his explanations and slowly opening his heart to this man that he has never even stopped loving.

 

“When you left me, when you told me you hated me, nothing mattered to me anymore. All I want was to be with you, and I still do.” He confessed, kissing the officer’s cold fingers again.

 

“I’m sorry for hurting you, Shaofei. Please, don’t hate me...” Tangyi vulnerably said. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you.”

 

Shaofei’s heart is already weak for Tangyi, even from the beginning of their relationship. He has always been forgiving, has always been open with his emotions. Once, he thought that maybe this is the best- leaving Tangyi is the best decision to heal his heart, or so he thought.

 

It tormented his soul to the core.

 

Not seeing Tangyi for the past six months is an enough hell for Shaofei.

 

Even if he is trying so hard not to fall into allurement, but this is Tangyi we are talking about. Tangyi is like a sin, and Shaofei is a sinner; he isn’t afraid, he won’t be scared because loving Tangyi and to be with him is the only way of living that he knows.

 

“I love you.” Tangyi gently whispered.

 

And it’s enough to open his heart fully for the gang leader- _former_ gang leader Tangyi once again.

 

“I love you, Meng Shaofei.” He confessed.

 

Finally, after six months of pain, Shaofei is able to smile genuinely again and so does Tangyi.

 

“If you love me, then kiss me.” Shaofei said, demanding.

 

And who is Tangyi to object?

 

Delicately, he claimed those luscious pilgrims once again with his own lips with a heart solely beating to love Meng Shaofei for infinity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will edit this story later on! sorry for every errors. thanks for reading this! :)


	7. you are as beautiful as this rain shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If I say I can't  
> Will my heart change?  
> I've already placed you in my heart  
> So how can I take you out now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has been raining a lot in my place nowadays and i was inspired to write this when i'm looking at the gray clouds outside.
> 
> tangfei has been giving me a lot of feels these days and this is one of the ways to vent it out.
> 
> inspired by the song; rain shower - eric nam
> 
> thank you so much for reading! <3

New Taipei has been raining for the past few weeks now.

 

The cooling breeze of a rain shower is pouring down to the face of the earth, droplets of rain are falling against the transparent umbrella in his hands. His eyes are witnessing the gray and thin-looking clouds dancing along the dark sky that was once blue with happiness and delight. Even when the wind hits his cheeks, even when the cold rain is tainting his most expensive suit, Tangyi is feeling nothing but calm and content under this sad weather.

 

While waiting for Shaofei to arrive, Tangyi is basking in the warmth this rain has brought to his soul. For anybody, the rain will bring sadness, old memories and drowning thoughts in mind but for Tangyi this rain is his form of therapy, his way of cleansing his whole figure from his past mistakes.

 

And the rain will always bring Meng Shaofei into his arms.

 

“Tangyi!”

 

Tangyi adverted his eyes to the source of his name and sees his husband is slightly running toward him, the identical umbrella in his hands. Even in this rain, Shaofei is like the sun that lights up his entire universe with his warmest smile.

 

“Shaofei, stop running!” Tangyi said worriedly as Shaofei is already by his side, slightly panting and almost tripping in his own step.

 

Shaofei is smiling sheepishly at him while trying to catch his breath. “I’m sorry for being late. We had an emergency meeting before lunch,”

 

There’s always something amazing about the way Shaofei makes him feel; the way his heartbeat will start palpating whenever the officer is smiling at him, or just by Tangyi taking in the homey scent of Shaofei when his husband is close to him. Maybe this is the power of love- maybe this is the consequences of opening the door to his heart that was once closely shut after Boss Tang’s death because Tangyi is willing to risk it all.

 

He is willing to risk it all for Shaofei.

 

_Loving. Inspiring. Understanding. Strong. Trust-worthy. Loyal. Honest. Accepting. Forgiving. Breathtaking._

 

Meng Shaofei is all of those traits combined.

 

Meng Shaofei might not be perfect, but he is the epitome of perfection in Tangyi’s dictionary.

 

“It’s okay,” Tangyi shortly replied, feeling as if his heart will burst because Shaofei is now standing under his umbrella, their close proximity is making him feel all dizzy and nauseous.

 

The umbrella he previously used is neatly wrapped in his hands as Shaofei decided to share the umbrella with Tangyi. Shaofei is quick to hold the umbrella for Tangyi and while doing so, their fingers brushed in the most delicate way possible. “You must be tired of waiting for me and it’s raining too. I’m sorry Tangyi.”

 

To be frank, Tangyi will always have doubts in him. He will always question Shaofei’s decision to be with him because Tangyi is not able to give the same amount of love Shaofei has given to him. Even if he tried hard enough until his heart stops beating, Shaofei’s love is too pure and too sacred- Tangyi really doesn’t know whether he deserves to be standing next to Shaofei or just walk away from his life.

 

Is Shaofei an angel? Maybe he is.

 

“It’s okay,” Tangyi replied. There’s a crack forming in his heart whenever Shaofei apologized to him at the smallest things. “Please stop apologizing every time, Captain Meng. I understand your line of work and I’m okay with it.”

 

Shaofei is playing with the ends of his denim jacket, an act that he will always put up when he is nervous or shy. “No- it’s just that, I don’t like to make people wait for me...”

 

Tangyi’s heart is slowly shattering, the sincerity in every word he uttered is breaking him even more. “Three years,” Tangyi whispered softly against the cold wind, pausing just to look at Shaofei in the eye.

 

“You’ve waited for me for three years. I’ve only been waiting for 20 minutes. It will never be the same, Ah Fei.”

 

The way the dark in Shaofei’s eyes are glistening in tears, moist and watery from the sudden emotion hitting his heart, it is enough to make Tangyi caress his husband’s cheek with his free hand in a comforting manner.

 

“I don’t deserve you. But thank you for loving me and is always waiting for me patiently. From now onwards, stop apologizing because I’m doing the things you had been doing to me all this time. I’m paying back my debt, Captain Meng.” There’s a trivial teasing in his tone upon emphasizing the word _captain_ , but Tangyi is being honest and he is hoping that Shaofei will understand.

 

As unexpected as the rain shower, Shaofei embraces him in his arms, his backpack is wet from the sudden exposure of the rain but Shaofei doesn’t care. The only thing that he wanted to do right now is to have Tangyi in his clasp.

 

With his free hand and a heart swelling with love, Tangyi hugs his husband back tighter than ever.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

They decided to walk instead of taking their car.

 

Tangyi has booked the restaurant they had always been to during the earlier years of their encounter and it is bringing so much fond memories in mind. Usually, Tangyi will always be annoyed when Shaofei showed up almost every day in front of him to seek the truth but as time goes by, Tangyi had found himself falling for the officer’s unique charms over and over again.

 

It’s lunchtime, but the room is secluded only for them (apparently everyone is paying attention to Shaofei a lot these days since he has become the captain and Tangyi will not let it slide even when they are in public) while the other side of the restaurant is filled with chirping laughter and wide smiles.

 

Shaofei bowed meagerly at the waitress and she blushes at the officer’s gesture. Tangyi is there witnessing her squealing like a teenage girl in love and he is not having any of this. The receptors in his brain are working hard to let the statement **_protect Meng Shaofei at all cost_** sink into his central nervous system and is waiting to be interpreted. Once the data is processed, Tangyi is quick to take Shaofei by the hand and wrap it around his arms.

 

The waitress seems to notice the same silver band around their ring finger because by now, she is looking at her toes rather than at Shaofei. Tangyi didn’t mean to glare at her but his gut instincts are firing up with jealousy (albeit Tangyi hates to admit, he does get jealous a lot these days) and he will not let anyone look at his husband with lust or admiration filling their eyes. Only Tangyi can look at Shaofei like that.

 

Once they had placed their orders, the waitress excuses herself and Shaofei bowed to her with a soft thank you. She is looking up from her toes when Shaofei smiled at her but immediately adverted her eyes on the menu as Tangyi is sending daggers to her direction.

 

“Tangyi, you are scaring her!”

 

“It’s because she’s looking at you rather than doing her work. She deserves that,”

 

“Of course she must look at us, she’s a waitress!”

 

“She doesn’t look at _me_  in that way. She only looks at _you_  in that way.”

 

His husband is looking at him in disbelief. “What do you mean by _that way_?”

 

Tangyi’s throat is now coarse and dry like a deserted island. Is he being jealous out loud right now? He can’t even believe himself- he, Tangyi, previously a mob boss with brass knuckles and steel punches- are admitting to his own feeling of jealousy? _Unbelievable_.

 

Clearing his throat with a brief cough, Tangyi took the teapot and pours himself a cup of hot chamomile tea. “She… she’s looking at you the way I'm looking at you.”

 

By now, Shaofei’s cheeks are already lightly brushed in crimson, but he likes the way Tangyi’s cheeks aren’t doing any better too.

 

“How do you look at me?” Shaofei asked, up for a challenge.

 

“Love,” Tangyi said, the red on his cheeks intensify but his eyes are sparkling in confidence.

 

“Adoration, admiration, lust-”

 

Shaofei shuts his husband from uttering vague words in public with a hand on his lips.

 

“Tangyi, you really need to stop embarrassing yourself.”

 

“You should be saying that to yourself,”

 

The officer is laughing at the remark. “I’m used to making fun of myself but you aren’t! Don’t let your gangster image be corrupted by jealousy!” Shaofei jokingly said.

 

He doesn’t like the way Shaofei described himself as someone that is easy to make fun of. Yes, Shaofei is loud and fun, all smiles and happy thoughts but for Tangyi, his husband is a strong-willed human being with a wider perspective in life and is not easy to be manipulated. Some people might have taken Shaofei for granted (and Tangyi did teach them a lesson) but Tangyi will not let that happen again.

 

Tangyi took the officer’s hand with his, rubbing their palms together. “Shaofei, I’m sorry. You are not someone that deserves to make fun of. I’m-”

 

Shaofei laces their fingers together while looking at Tangyi, all understanding and always forgiving. “You asked me to stop apologizing, and I hope that you will do exactly the same.”

 

The guilt is biting his lungs and heart, the blood is oozing out from his chest, all thick and hot. “Shaofei-”

 

“I love you.” Shaofei delicately confessed. His eyes are shining with honesty and Tangyi’s heart is doing bizarre things at the moment.

 

“That’s the only thing you need to remember. I love you,”

 

As their food has arrived, the steam from the hotpot is covering Shaofei’s face from his vision but still, the smile on his husband’s face is vivid and always be astoundingly beautiful.

 

Even when the rain is still pouring, Shaofei is like the sun that will forever keep him warm.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Do you really have to go?”

 

Tangyi is looking at Shaofei with pleading eyes, hoping that Shaofei will take his invitation of skipping work and went home instead. Shaofei is nodding his head in agreement and Tangyi should have known better- Tangyi might be his everything but his profession also means the world to Shaofei.

 

“Lunchtime is over Tangyi, I should get back to work.”

 

He desperately wants Shaofei to stay with him at home and snuggle deep into the comfort of their bed because the weather is so right- the moment is so right- and Shaofei is looking extremely gorgeous today; it’s hard to let his husband go and resume fulfilling his duty as an officer.

 

 _Can people stop committing a crime just for today? I need to take a certain Captain Meng home with me right now_ \- how Tangyi wished he could say that without being slaughtered by Zhaozi and basically everyone in the criminal division team. Is it possible? Tangyi already knows the answer.

 

The umbrella in his hands is heavy with the rain that is falling along with the canopy. Tangyi is holding the handle securely in one hand while the other is wrapped around Shaofei’s waist.

 

They look like mushrooms under the transparent umbrella because Tangyi doesn’t want to let go and Shaofei is not putting any effort to let go either.

 

He decided to rest his head against Tangyi’s clothed chest and savor the mellow beating of his husband’s heartbeat. It almost lulls him to sleep but the alarm from his watch is a sign for them to part ways again.

 

“We better get going,” Shaofei said, pulling away slightly from Tangyi’s arms.

 

“Okay,” Tangyi reluctantly answered.

 

As heavy as the rain shower, the heavier his heart is trying to let Shaofei go.

 

“I promise that I’ll be home early today,” Shaofei said with a pair of soft eyes and a warm smile.

 

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

 

A promise. Tangyi will wait for Shaofei to come home, even if it takes a hundred years, he will always wait for Shaofei to be in his arms.

 

Shaofei is shining, his whole body is glimmering as if the sun is there on top of their heads. It’s raining even more heavily right now and they are the only ones to be soaked under this rain with only an umbrella as a shield.

 

Shaofei reopens his own umbrella and is ready to head back to his office, not forgetting to give a peck on Tangyi’s cheeks before leaving. He smiles at Tangyi before slowly walking towards the entrance.

 

This moment feels so right it’s like a dream come true in Tangyi’s own fantasy.

 

 _Because the weather is so right- the moment is so right- and Shaofei is looking extremely gorgeous today_ -

 

Tangyi chases after Shaofei and beats him up before he can enter the building. He holds his husband’s hand and let go of his umbrella.

 

“Shaofei,” Tangyi called, his lips are only a few inches away from Shaofei.

 

Shaofei- clearly taken aback, is looking at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape.

 

“I love you too,” Tangyi whispered and seals his love with a kiss.

 

Tangyi is kissing him under the rain shower, their only protector is from the umbrella in Shaofei’s hand but nothing even matters when their lips are molded together in a frenzy of love and so much more.

 

Shaofei is holding the handle tightly as Tangyi kisses him with such passion, almost feeling as if his own legs are giving up on him.

 

 _Because the weather is so right- the moment is so right- and Tangyi is looking extremely handsome today_ -

 

The rain is still pouring down, the breeze is kissing their cheeks and the rain is cold against their skin- but the only thing that matters to them is being in each other arm and forgetting about the world, even just for a while.


	8. when i look at you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whenever tangyi is looking into shaofei's eyes, only God knows the behavior of his heart; it's racing at top speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on the prompt: "shaofei giving tangyi a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed."
> 
> I'm feeling quite soft for tangfei (tangyi especially) because we all know, despite that cold expression, he will turn into a puddle of goo just for shaofei (I will too :p) and honestly I'm feeling very soft for chrisjake too, that's why soft!chrisjake hours are always activated in my household (aka, twitter)
> 
> I hope this is okay though. just to satisfy the soft feelings I have for tangfei (and ehem, chrisjake as well)
> 
> enjoy! x
> 
> now playing: my prince - park boyoung

As the sun is already at its horizon, Tangyi wakes up to see Shaofei smiling softly at him.

 

Hues of orange and yellow are coloring Shaofei’s skin delicately, lighting his adorable face with tender kisses and downy, dawdling pecks. His whole figure is dazzling under the summer sun of July, where it’s oddly freezing this morning.

 

Tangyi wants to cuddle more, he wants to snuggle deeper into their shared blanket, warmth exuding from the Egyptian cotton bed sheet Hongye bought for them as a gift. The earthy smell of Shaofei is wafting in the air, caressing his nostrils in a calming demeanor that makes his eyes droopy again. He wants to continue sleeping with the thought of Shaofei in mind.

 

“I’m going to work, okay?”

 

He heard a known voice ringing in his eardrums. As much as Tangyi wants to wake up and look at Shaofei, his eyes are deceiving him. He can’t even open it by now. Tangyi is clearly too drifted away with his sleep, he failed to notice the gentle smile that is tugging Shaofei’s lips.

 

The ambiance is quiet again, and Tangyi is certain that the officer has left to work. But then, something is pressing against his lips, hot and too familiar. It touches his lips, long enough to let the feeling linger in his heart for a really long time.

 

When Tangyi opens his eyes slowly, Shaofei is kissing him.

 

His heart is swelling due to his husband’s unpredictable action.

 

“I love you,” Shaofe said just above a whisper. He pats Tangyi’s head before leaving the room and off to work.

 

Fully awake by now, Tangyi uncovers the blanket around his naked torso, yawning from time to time as remnants of sleep are still subsiding in his system. Soaking the view of nature around him, he inhales a deep breath and rubs both of his eyes with the back of his hands, trying to chase the sleepiness away.

 

The sight of their room is now fully in prospect. As his eyes are wandering around, he sees a glass of water on the bedside table with a yellow sticky note plastered against it.

 

 

_Drink this and have a good day <3_

 

 

Tangyi can’t help but smile until his cheeks are hurting.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

“Lao Ban, you are in a very good mood today,” Hongye said, teasingly.

 

Tangyi can’t stop smiling ever since this morning and Hongye really doesn’t have to know the reason behind that smile. Honestly, she doubted Tangyi’s choice to let the officer meddle into his existence and their line of work but now, Hongye acknowledged the importance of Meng Shaofei in Tangyi’s life.

 

And to see that big smile on his brother’s face, Hongye is forever thankful for Shaofei.

 

“Hongye,” Tangyi said in total surprise.

 

“You had been staring at the document for 10 minutes. Can I at least get a signature of agreement from you?” Hongye asked, her tone is all playful and joking.

 

Tangyi is signing the documents with flushed cheeks and cold sweat running down his neck, which makes Hongye burst into laughter. His brother has a good amount of lovers before Shaofei, but none of them has ever managed to make Tangyi behave in this way. It’s clear enough that the officer is the only one who can affect the previous gang leader this badly.

 

Handing the document to Hongye, Tangyi can only give her a shy smile. Hongye reciprocates with a smile full of understanding while muttering a _thank you_. His brother smiles back at him, the fragments of embarrassment is still evident on his handsome face.

 

As she is walking towards the door, Hongye turns around to look at his brother again. “Tangyi,” She called.

 

Tangyi is looking at her questioningly, and this motions Hongye to continue. “Are you happy?”

 

The moment Hongye sees the light shining from Tangyi’s face, it’s enough of an answer for her.

 

“I am.” Tangyi shortly replied but with pride and happiness.

 

“Then, I am happy for you too,” Hongye said, meaning all of her words because she is delighted to see Tangyi being his previous self, just like how he was before Boss Tang’s passing. _Love is a really powerful thing_ , Hongye finally can agree to that statement.

 

Hongye smiles at his brother for one last time before saying, “Don’t forget, we have an appointment at 2 o’clock,”

 

Nodding his head, Tangyi smiles at his sister as the door to his office closes with a soft thud.

 

While Tangyi is trying to catch his breath, his eyes are feasted with the skeleton key chain Shaofei gave to him years ago. It’s hanging beside a frame with his and Boss Tang’s picture in it. It evokes so many precious memories of their firsts in everything, and Tangyi is thankful that God had arranged his path to be with Shaofei.

 

Love is not enough to describe his feelings for the officer. Every emotion that is beating along with his heart, it’s only for Shaofei. Since that very day, after spending a night together in the mountains, Tangyi started to look at the officer very differently. Who would have thought it’s actually loved?

 

Feeling the key chain in his hands, Tangyi’s heart is skipping multiple beats when his mind is showing a slide show of Shaofei smiling at him, all beautiful and perfect as always.

 

Even though his emotions are very complex, but loving his husband will never be a difficult task.

 

Not when Tangyi has developed those feelings long before he could stop himself from falling for an officer named Meng Shaofei.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

The night is colder than in the mornings, and it’s strange. They are in the middle of July, the second month of summer and supposedly, it’s hot and humid but not tonight, though.

 

Tangyi is wearing a long sleeve cotton shirt gifted by Shaofei on his previous birthday. He loves how the color blue accentuate his slightly tan skin even more (based on Shaofei’s observation, to say the least).

 

His husband said the color blue fits him the most, while black and white comes in next. Whatever color he is wearing, it’s not important actually. For Tangyi, the reason behind his glow is because Shaofei is by his side, legally tied into a knot of marriage.

 

People glow very differently, and Tangyi knows he is sparkling amazingly because Shaofei is there to hold his hand tight enough to never let go.

 

When the door to their room opens, Tangyi is smiling again.

 

“I’m home,” His husband greeted with his usual toothy grin, making Tangyi’s heart to palpate faster than before.

 

Shaofei is grinning at him and slowly taking a step toward Tangyi who is sitting at the edge of their bed.

 

Tangyi stretches his arms, big enough for Shaofei to fit into his embrace. Understanding Tangyi’s gesture, the officer starts skipping lightly until he falls into the hands of Tangyi who has been waiting for him to come home.

 

Shaofei’s fragrance is a mixture of apple and cinnamon, with a hint of his own natural scent that he has grown to love since the first time the officer hugged him, years ago. Tangyi is drowning in the comfort of Shaofei being in his arms once again.

 

“Did you had a good day?” Shaofei asked as he breaks their hug only to lay his body against Tangyi’s chest, lacing their fingers together while he’s at it.

 

Tangyi nodded, and Shaofei continues, “Have you eaten?”

 

“I’m waiting for you to come home,” Tangyi answered and Shaofei hums.

 

“It’s quite cold today, don’t you think?”

 

Breathing out a reply, Tangyi says, “Yeah, makes me want to cuddle with you even more.”

 

He can see the smile on Shaofei’s face widens, as well as a brush of red starting to color his fluffy-like cheeks.

 

“I miss you so much today. Maybe it’s because of the cold weather,”

 

People can call him stupid, but Tangyi knows his heart too well. And he knows it’s not impossible to fall in love with his husband again and again, until the end of time.

 

Croaking a reply, Tangyi can only tighten their interlaced fingers together even more as he rested his chin on Shaofei’s shoulder. “I miss you too, so much. I can’t stop thinking about you,”

 

Shaofei’s ears are reddening in embarrassment, but this site is so endearing, Tangyi’s own heart is aching with the feeling of love in his heart.

 

“I’m here now, you can hold me as long as you want.”

 

“Okay, you can’t take that back, do you understand, Captain Meng?” Tangyi said while trying to look at Shaofei in the eye.

 

The puzzled look on Shaofei’s face is making him laugh slightly. In a heartbeat, Tangyi pushes Shaofei to their bed and wrap their bodies together with the help of their blanket.

 

“Tangyi!”

 

“I’m not letting you go tonight! I’ll hug you until you can’t breathe!”

 

“But what about dinner?”

 

“I’m having my dinner right now so-”

 

“TANGYI!”

 

When the night deepens, Tangyi holds Shaofei close to his chest while listening to his beating heart. Tangyi smiles against Shaofei’s mop of hair, loving how the scent of apples and cinnamon is caressing his smell receptors, calming his whole body down from his previous euphoria.

 

The sky is dark and the stars are dancing into their own routines. Tangyi embraces Shaofei in his arms tighter because he will not give the officer up even to the moon.

 

Because Shaofei is his universe.

 

Because when Shaofei is looking into his own eyes, Tangyi knows that he can only love one person and one person only.

 

Only him.

 

_Only Meng Shaofei_.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i'm so happy that i've finally made an ao3 account! this is my first time posting stories here, and also, this is my very first tangfei story. comments/kudos are very much appreciated! do talk to me on [tumblr](https://bright-flowering.tumblr.com/) and [twitter.](https://twitter.com/kkyungiesoo)
> 
> thanks so much for reading this and i'm sorry for the errors since english is not my first language.


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